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How to Help Someone with Depression

Depression is a challenging, often misunderstood mental health condition. Well-intentioned individuals may offer support by being uplifting and encouraging the person to think positively while ensuring them that things will get better with time. However. clinical depression is complex, and it takes more than just time and a positive attitude to overcome. 

Understanding how to help someone with depression begins with understanding what the disease of depression is, and what it means to support them during a difficult time.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website is a valuable resource for individuals with depression and those who care about them. We encourage you to reach out to SAMHSA for help in finding a mental health provider for your loved one or reach out to us directly at the Massachusetts Center for Addiction.

Recognizing Signs of Depression

When helping someone with depression, it’s important to be able to recognize the signs of depression as a mental health disease. Depression doesn’t always present itself in ways that are expected. Those who have never experienced clinical depression often don’t fully understand the spectrum of symptoms and how they can affect every area of one’s life.

Signs of depression include:

  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Being chronically pessimistic
  • Feeling helpless
  • Feeling sad
  • Feeling worthless
  • Feeling an unwarranted sense of guilt
  • Experiencing irritability
  • Difficulty concentration
  • Poor short-term memory
  • Inability to make decisions or making poor decisions
  • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia
  • Feeling restless
  • Changes in appetite
  • Changes in weight
  • Loss of interest in pleasurable activities
  • Lack of motivation
  • Isolation
  • Headaches
  • Body aches that don’t go away
  • Thoughts of death or self-harm

Keep in mind that someone with depression might not experience every symptom on this list and that their symptoms may ebb and flow. If you notice at least two of these symptoms in someone you know or care about, there is a chance they could be experiencing depression. Experiencing five or more of these symptoms is a diagnostic sign of clinical depression.

If someone you know has a preoccupation with thoughts of death, dying, or self-harm, contact emergency services and seek help immediately, regardless of the presence of other symptoms.

How to Support Someone with Depression

Understanding Depression In Loved Ones

Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions, and it’s one that many people feel they know something about. However, having a general idea of what depression is isn’t the same as learning about depression as a disease and how it can affect yourself or a loved one.

Learning about depression to develop a better understanding of it is one of the most supportive steps anyone can take to help. Knowing the symptoms, learning how they affect a person’s life, finding out what treatment options are available, and what to expect during depression treatment can offer the person you care about a sense of support and security.

Also, the more each of us is better able to understand depression, the less likely we are to give unsolicited advice that isn’t always helpful. It’s a natural response to want to jump in and help when someone you care for is struggling. What your loved one needs now is support rather than advice meant to fix their problems.

Communicating with Someone Who Is Depressed

Communicating with someone who is depressed requires patience and understanding. You might be experiencing feelings of frustration or your own guilt around their depression. It’s important to set these aside for the sake of encouraging a gentle, open dialog.

When someone is depressed, even the simplest conversation can feel overwhelming and difficult. Provide your loved one with the space in the conversation they need to feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Open-ended questions are also a good conversation strategy when communicating with someone who is depressed. Questions like “How are you feeling today?” encourage conversation more than “Are you feeling depressed today?”.

Offering Emotional Support for Depression

When someone is suffering from depression, they don’t necessarily want someone to come in and try to make everything better. The root causes of clinical depression are psychological, physiological, and biological. Someone with depression can’t pinpoint one aspect of their life that if changed would improve their mental health. Instead, the path forward is complex and multifaceted.

Your loved one with depression needs your support. This means listening without judgment and allowing them to express their feelings without trying to jump in and fix the problem. Support them with empathy and understanding, reassuring them that their feelings are valid and that you acknowledge how challenging this is for them.

Encourage Professional Help

Clinical depression doesn’t go away on its own, and for many, it’s a lifelong mental health condition that needs to be managed. One of the most important ways to help with depression is to encourage the person you care about to seek professional help.

This can be an uncomfortable or scary step for someone who has never interacted with a mental health professional before. If you’re able, offer to help them find a therapist or depression treatment program they feel comfortable with. You may also want to ask them if they’d like for you to accompany them to appointments, even if that means providing transportation and sitting in the waiting area.

Challenges of Assisting a Loved One with Depression

Supporting a loved one who is struggling with depression can take an emotional, mental, and physical toll on you. It’s important to acknowledge this and care for yourself in the process. It’s common to feel helpless and frustrated, and you might not be able to understand their feelings. This is a challenging time, and seeking mental health care for yourself at this time can offer noticeable benefits.

When approaching someone you care for about their depression, be prepared for the conversation to be difficult at first. They might not fully understand what they are feeling and might struggle with articulating what they’re going through. They might be resistant to your attempts to help, and possibly deny that they need any help at all.

It’s important to understand that acceptance and recovery from depression take time. There isn’t a quick-fix solution, but encouraging your loved one to seek help at a leading mental health treatment center is an important first step.